“I don’t like you but I love you”
“Well, because I don’t like who I am with you. I’m..different around you. I fear being vulnerable but with you, I just don’t. I’m weak. You know, If you ever break my heart, I’ll spend years mending it, and then bring it back to you to destroy it, all over again.
You’re like the movies I watch, on purpose to cry because otherwise, I don’t allow myself that liberty.
You’re like those words rolling on the tip of my tongue when I’m overwhelmed but, I end up swallowing them instead.
You’re the cigarette I smoke immediately after a breakdown.
You’re the incomplete ending of books that I wish didn’t end.
Do you understand? I don’t like you because you encourage me to reveal versions of myself that I don’t bother acknowledging. But, this is also why I love you. Twisted, isn’t it?
~a.ch// fragments from a conversation